Therapy 301

As I've said, I lost my job a few weeks ago and I was stressing over the fact that I still had therapy to do to get my hormones letter. I have to ask my partner to lend me the $200 for the final two sessions and the letter, and I hate asking to borrow money from people - it's both a pride thing because I should be able to cover my own ass, and a thing with fear, because I hate being indebted to people, even people I love and trust with my life because I'm afraid of it going badly. That's caused a bit of friction lately that I hope we can put behind us, but that's beside the point.

I talked to Dr. Peveller last night, and I'm going to be having my second session with him tonight. He had to reschedule last night's appointment for today, and as he said he'd make it up to me, I presented the idea of having only two more sessions before he completes my letter and sends it to me.

The awesome thing is that he agreed. I just hope he holds up his end of the bargain and actually gives me the letter. I'm not worried that it's not legit because I've done research on this guy and as lax as he seems, his letters do seem legitimate and I'll be able to get hormones as soon as I find an endocrinologist who will prescribe it to me. I have a doctor in mind and I'll be calling him when I get my letter.

I did get another job, though. I'm working as a sales rep for a wealth system, so hopefully I'll be making bank and I won't have to worry about paying people back for things. I want to pay back everything I can and finally get this transition completely underway. I hope this job can do that for me; it promises a six-figure income once I'm all trained up and everything, so it should be good. I'm just anxious about it; I'm anxious about being misgendered over the phone because while my voice can be androgynous sometimes, my voice goes up when I'm working customer service. I mean, in the end it doesn't matter, like what are the chances that I'll ever talk to these people again? But I just hate the idea that people are judging me for it.

Bottom line, though? I hate money, and I hate how scared I am about people's perception of me. I need to see someone about that, and I plan to as soon as possible. I just hope the people I love can continue to be patient with me while I work through everything. They've been amazing and flawless so far, and I am so lucky.