So, I've been talking to my ex about this divorce thing, and in doing so I found out something very interesting. I couldn't do anything but laugh at first when I saw what he'd told me, even though honestly it makes complete sense thinking back. Maybe he was dealing with the same things I was, the dynamic being something completely different than what either of us really wanted it to be.
My ex-husband is also transgender, an MtF. And he's been going to counseling for it for over a year now.
Whoa.
This is, on one hand, a complete shock, but at the same time I'm not surprised at all. I can't process it. He - rather, I don't know if I should call him he or she because he hasn't changed his name to something feminine and he hasn't told me whether or not he's serious about actually transitioning to the other gender and I don't want to be disrespectful; I'm kinda stuck in a quandary there - seems like a changed person, like he's really cleaned up his act and he's gotten over a lot of things that caused so many problems in our relationship.
We're actually being civil right now, and it's almost shocking to me how civil we're being. It's almost to the point where we're almost sounding like friends again. I don't want to be his friend or anything close to that, I don't want to be around him for long periods of time - I don't think I could, honestly, because he still triggers me so much - but it's nice to know that we can exchange civilities together without the violent ghosts of the past haunting us throughout every single word we exchange.
Maybe this is what we both need.
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